Just some thoughts

It is NOT ok, to belittle people and rip them apart! Don't you just hate when you know people like this? You see them do it time and time again, and you can't stop it from happening because you know that's just the kind of person that they are? I see it constantly on forums, where people who haven't even met face to face, are making it a goal to rip people to shreds.

I have a family member who has been ripped to shreds every since he was a small child, too young to understand what was happening to him. Everytime he talked, he got evil mean glares from everyone. Whenever he tried to get "congratulations" for someone, he was told that what he did was nothing spectacular. He was looked down apon, simply I gather, because he was the only male child in the family. I know it hurt him, it hurt me just seeing it happen to him. Had I been older, I would have said something, or asked questions to bring these peoples' actions out in the open. Unfortunately, this happened clear into his adulthood. He was an outcast, for no reason of his own. Finally, he started saying things back and he hurt those who treated him badly, so badly, that they have now disowned him.

How is that fair? How can people see their own actions as being righteous, yet when someone gives them a taste of their own medicine, instantly they hate that person for dishing out exactly what they've been doing all along? It's such an injustice, and the sad fact is, if no one does retaliate, then the person continues to do it. It's almost worth the consquences that follow.

I, myself, have my own scars. I was always one of those kids who would take whatever was handed to me, and I would swallow it. I refused to stand up for myself, so in a way, "I" was the reason that I was hurt. I had a friend who's soul reason for being my friend seemed to be, to bring me down. It's no secret that I grew up kinda poor, and I didn't get a lot of new things, or get to go out and spend money needlessly. When my mother bought me something new, it really meant something to me. It had sentimental value and I cherished it, regardless of the price. When I would show my friend what I got, she would tell me that it was nothing special, or she would roll her eyes at my excitement. I remember this one time, a boy asked me out at the park. I was sooooo happy, even though I turned him down. I was the cute little chubby girl that boys didn't ask out. On our way home, I told her about it...and her response to me was that he probably didn't even mean it...that it had been a joke. Talk about being crushed. Boys were always a problem for us. Everytime I liked a new boy, she would tell me that they were stupid or I was stupid, or that I had no chance with them, or I would get those famous rolling eyes. I knew deep down that I probably had no chance with any of these guys, but I always felt like she should have tried to be supportive. Once when we were younger, I found out that one of her boyfriends was only going out with her, because he liked me and knew I wouldn't date him. I NEVER told her about that because I didn't want to hurt her. She was a really good friend most of the time though. I figured that because we were so close, being "truthful" wasn't a bad thing. Then it happened...things have a way of building up inside of a person, waiting for that one tiny little crack of chance to escape. I was having a bad time, and life took a turn, where she was constantly telling me about her problems. I ended up telling her exactly what I thought about her situation and ways I thought she could better it. I truly wanted to help her, but I guess I lashed out some. It's not like I intended to be harsh, I just figured that being honest wouldn't be a problem between us, since she never held back. Do I regret it today? Of course I do. But unfortunately, after something has been said or done, you can't erase that it happened.

Now I see my mom doing it, and it bothers me alot. She has never liked my younger cousin, and she has always belittled him, and you can just tell it in the way she talks about him and to him. He was spoiled as a child and there was a lot of favortism as far as my grandmother was concerned, so she holds a lot of that against him. Even though he is now 21, she still will not let things rest. He's grown up a lot, I can see it...I just hate the fact that she refuses to see it. Nothing he does is good enough, nothing he says is right. I see this going down the same path that my other relative went down, and in the end, a lot of hurt can only come from it. I've tried to say stuff, but she constantly has an excuse for it. It's just not fair. I hope that she can stop it before she causes a bigger rift in the family.

As they say...what goes around, comes around. It's important for your happiness and those around you, if you can't say something nice to someone or you just want to bring them down, stop socializing with them. Cut the ties that will inevitably make everyone miserable, and as Thumper's momma always said...If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.