Doing my part today

for the environment. I've been meaning to post about this but well...I just haven't been online. Lol.

I am currently in two science classes at work. I hated science when I was in school, so truthfully, this is torture for me. I do however, enjoy going over things we can do to conserve energy and save our environment. So here's one thing I'll start doing when I remember....

Instead of using Google, or other search engines that use white backgrounds...I will use "Blackle.com", where they use a black background. The black helps to save energy, as white uses more. Pretty cool huh? Plus it's not like everyone has a black background, so I'll be unique too. :) If I can get just one other person to use this search engine, imagine how much energy we save together. I truly do believe that even baby steps can make a world of difference. We as a people have GOT to start re-evaluating the things we do, because eventually, this world will be in some serious need of help. Why not start before it reaches that point???

Ahhhh nuts....

I got the job! Less than an hour and a half after my interview, I received a call saying I was chosen to fill the position and asking if I'd accept it. I started to panic and almost didn't answer my phone. I mean, I enjoy my current job, it's just a bit boring. I have WONDERFUL teachers, and what happens if I get over to the elementary school and get three horrible teachers? What if I don't like working with little kids anymore? I'm trying to stay positive, but dangit, what if I've messed up something good by trying to get something better? Eek! At least it's only going to be a 3 minute drive from my house to the school, and I get an extra half an hour each day. So I get to make more money and save more money in gas. The principal seems really nice though and there's less staff there. I guess I'll be finding out in a couple of weeks...my current school isn't releasing me for two weeks, so the 3rd will be my last day there.

Anyways, I just wanted to update everyone. :)

Not doing too good

on my promise to keep up with my blogging, am I? Things are just so boring around here, and I'm literally tired. 8 months of not working has made me lazy, and then with going back, I just haven't gotten into the groove yet. Then I ended up getting a cold...can't figure out which teacher gave it to me, since 2 of the 3 I work with are also sick. :(

Tomorrow I have an interview at an elementary school. I soooooooo want the position! The thought of dealing with little kids sounds really nice to me right now. Maybe I just need a change from the older ones. I don't know. Don't get me wrong, the kids I'm with this year are great, but it just gets old having to tell 12-15 year olds to stop acting like they're in 3rd grade. I might as well be working with the 3rd grade!

Anyways, I hope that things are going great with everyone, and if I haven't responded to your emails, don't get upset. I'm thinking about you all...I just have no motivation to get or stay online lately. Someone check me for a fever! Lol.

Hair cut!

I trimmed my hair...it's the shortest it's ever been. And I LOVE it!!! It's half way down my back now (took off about 4 inches), and I cut some long bangs to go with the trim. Oh yeah!!! Now all I have to do is dye it, but I'm scared to go that far yet. I actually wanted to take a little more off, but Mark begged me not to (he loves the long hair). So I let it slide...for now.

So right now I have half of it pulled back in a barret, and the rest is flowing over my shoulders. It looks cute, and boy do I miss wearing my hair like this! I used to wear it like a chola (mexican style), but after I went blonde and my roots started growing back, it just didn't look right. Now that the blonde is officially gone (Oh yeah, I'm a full blooded burnett again!!!), I can start wearing it like I used to. I thought time would fade that craziness, but I guess not because I'm so wanting to go back to what I looked like before Mark and I got together.

Lesson of the day....don't ever change who you are for someone else! I never wanted to be bleached blonde (just have streaks of blonde), but Mark liked blondes (hello Pamela Anderson) and I felt like he'd stop looking elsewhere if I went blonde. HA! After 4 years, things didn't change and I was miserable and got to hate the look. I am sooooooooooo glad to be back to normal. But I do want to dye it black (for me).

So anyways, I expect that this is just the beginning of a new and improved me. :)

I knew it was bound to happen!

Alright, before I elaborate on that...I had a VERY busy weekend. Saterday, we spent allllllll day cleaning. I mean...a trip to the dump, a trip to the recycle center, and of course the much loved house cleaning. Ack!

Sunday, we made a trip to Victorville, to buy some hay. Of course it was the same type of hay that almost killed me a couple of months ago (remember the asthma attack or whatever it was?). I tried to go to the mall and do a little clothes shopping (I.E. buy a bra and maybe a pair of pants) but they didn't open till 11. What? Since when does a mall open at 11 on a Sunday? Isn't the weekend a mall's most busy time? So I decided I didn't want to sit around and wait for them to open. Instead, we drove home and went to the store to buy items for our BBQ.

Did I forget to mention that on Saterday I invited Jack up to a BBQ? I didn't expect him to come, but we went and bought food just incase. A little after 5, we went back and asked if he wanted to come hang out for a bit, and he said yes. WOW, didn't see that one coming. He seemed really shy. But he showed up for about an hour and it was really nice getting to know him some. He showed me a picture on his cell of his 4 year old son...a total cutie! Of course the food was cold, and Mark over cooked some of it, trying to keep it warm until Jack got here, but all in all, it was pretty cool.

So that leads me to the title of this posting...I've been expecting it to happen, but was praying it wouldn't. I was told that my entire operation would be fully covered and I shouldn't have to get involved with the insurance claims or anything else. Well...guess what I got in the mail today??? From the anestesia department...Yep, a $1500 bill. Gads! I called my insurance company - who told me that they told the hospital to send the claim to my provider. I call my provider - and they told me that the insurance company should have sent them the claim, not have the hospital do it. So fed up, I called the hosptial and they told me that they sent a claim to both of them. Yep, there's nothing quite like getting the complete run around when money's involved. I'm not paying anything until I'm threatened with bill collector's!!!!!

Work still sucks! I always thought I'd enjoy being with the good kids over the bad ones, but dangit, now I have no one to talk to. These are the smart kids, so they don't really need any help. And the teachers have a handle on the kids, so I'm not needed to keep them in line. Oh hmmm....a perfect example of "be careful what you wish for".

It's been a while...

and a few of you are calling me on my "lack of blogging". Lol. I started back to work on Tuesday, and it's been tiring. My whole 3 hours a day is getting to me. HAHA. Actually just getting back into the swing of things is rough. And I haven't felt like getting online when I get home, so please don't take it personal if you haven't heard from me in a while. It's not you...it's me. :D

I've been spending a lot of my time assessing my life...the good things, the bad things, the things I wish I could have done differently, the things I can still do differently...just taking a really long, hard look at what/who I've become. So that's another reason I haven't been on here as much. I hope to get back to normal soon, and then I can catch you all up on my exciting life. Lol.

Post 300....It's about my birthday!!!

:) I had a really good one! Thanks to those of you, who wished me one. I even had someone who I barely know on MySpace remember. That made me feel pretty good. :)

I got to sleep in, and then not do anything as far as chores. Lol. We went to Sizzler's for lunch/dinner, and I had the best Country Fried Steak EVER! Yummmmm....then we came home, went back to see the horses (where Mark and I got into a water fight in their trough), came home and sat outside to dry off (it was a beautiful day), then came in and opened gifts/had cake. We finished the night by me winning a game of Rummy (mom, Marcus and Mark - you suck! HAHAHA) and watching the season premiere of America's Next Top Model. It was a good day!

My cake was yummy. Mark made it for me and forewarned me that it looked like a 2 year old scribbled on it. It tasted good and that's all I'm going to say. Lol. Actually, he did a really good job making it, it was exactly what I wanted and it was done in really pretty colors. It did however look like a 2 year old colored on it. :) I blew all the candles out in one blow (Marcus caught it on camera much to my horror - I will NOT be sharing the picture! lol), and now I'm waiting for my wish to come true. I'll post pictures of the cake later on, after I upload them into the computer.

So anyways, I had a great day and it's hard to believe that I'm 28 now. How the years have flown by...and I realize with each passing one, that I seem to feel less important. Weird, I always thought the exact opposite would be true. Life's funny that way I guess.

What a sucky day so far!

I was hoping that today would at least go smoothly, considering, but damnit! I had dreams about Jose last night. I don't hardly dream of him anymore but for some reason, last night HAD to be different. I don't get it!!!!!!! And no matter how good the dream, it always ruins my day! Not that last night's was too good, but just the fact that he was in it bothers me.

It's not fair!!! Why can't my conscience let things go, so I can get on with my life Jose free??? UUGH!

Update on doctor's.....

Just called and the girl played it off like they would never have told me my appointment was yesterday. (I would really like an angry face blowing steam smiley right now!!!)

So I asked her when my appointment is in their book, and she told me today. WHAT!?! There is no way that "September First" sounds anything like "September Second". Nope, not happy! It's a good thing that I called them though...and they better not make me sit in the lobby for 2 hours, like they did one time when they asked me to come back in later that day to get my blood pressure rechecked. How in the world, does it take 2 hours to take a 30 second pulse, when they are the ones that requested I come back in? And stupid me...I sat there and waited.

It's going to be one of those days! God help the person who ends up rubbing me wrong!!!

This will be the last time!

I am officially changing my doctor! I can not stand Dr. Basa! If you are in the Barstow area, I highly discourage you from going to her!

I called them 2 weeks ago and made an appointment. One of the girls made it for September 1st at 2:00pm. I knew this was a holiday but I figured that they must be open anyways. I even asked her "That's a Monday, right?" to verify, and she said "Yes". So I show up there 10 minutes early yesterday and guess what! They're closed. I was soooo mad! If someone made a mistake and made the appointment for the wrong day, then they should have had the courtesy to call me and reschedule. I can't wait until they open, to give them a call.

I'm glad to say that this will be my last time going there, and I am only doing it to get permission to return to work. After that, I have to notify my insurance that I want to change doctor's. I am sooooo fed up with this place. I know that I've complained about it numberous times, but this was the last straw. Whenever I go in there, the doctor herself never remembers me (even if I saw her 4 days earlier). I have to ask for them to update my prescriptions, which always takes them weeks because they never call them in (turns out they don't hand you over one of those doctor's prescriptions anymore). I have to specifically ask them to relook at something on my chart, and she never hears what I say (and asks me something right after I said it) because she was too busy not paying attention.

I thought I was being too hard on her, but damnit, my surgeon who lives almost 2 hours away remembers me every single time I go in to see him (months inbetween). He knows exactly where I live, what he's done to me, and what he needs to do...he's prepared. Now he may read through the charts the night before...but I always feel like I have a personal relationship with him. And he must see HUNDREDS of WOMEN inbetween the times that I see him. HE WORKS OUT OF TWO HOSPITALS!!!!! But he even knows me by name when he sees me in his lobby. Granted I'm sure Dr. Basa sees a lot more patients in a day than he does, but her and her office assitants are so freakin scatter-brained, I'm shocked they are still in business.

Just take deep breathes and relax........

Age

Age appears to be best in some things....

Old wood best to burn.

Old books best to read.

Old rice best to eat and....

old friends best to keep.

A call I don't want again!

A very close call! I was driving down the road today and I had to stop for a red light. After it turned green, I noticed there were a couple of kids (probably high schoolers) walking down the street. Ahead of them, was a kid all by himself, to the right of me. I was bumping my new TuPac CD in the car, so I know he couldn't help but hear me, infact, he could probably feel the ground shake.

I have this habit of slowing down when people are around, especially kids. Nothing makes me madder than seeing some asshole speed by little kids on the side of the road. So I see this kid and for some reason, I kept my foot on the break instead of applying gas. He turned around and glanced at what looked like "right at me", then the opposite way, and then attempted to run across the street. HE RAN OUT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!! I slammed my foot on the break and skidded to a stop. He stopped in his tracks right in the center of my car, and his eyes were as big as saucers. He looked like a deer in headlights, not that I blame him, because when I came to my stop, he could have literally reached out and touched my hood...he was that close!

I am sooooo thankful that I was driving this car because it has really, really good breaks. Had I been in one of the others, I would have skidded right into him. And he's lucky I was paying attention because he certainly wasn't. He finished crossing the street, after waving at me to say he was sorry. I know I was scared, I can't imagine how scared he must have been. It just happened so quickly, two seconds later and he would have been seriously hurt. I'm just glad that it turned out as good as it did, although I could still smell my tires burning 5 minutes later. I was scared to swerve to the left because he might have kept running and inevitably infront of my car, or I could have went right and up the sidewalk. But who's to say I wouldn't have hit him that way either.

I sure hope he learned a valuable lesson to always pay attention when crossing the street! He was beyond lucky this time!

Pan-handlers...you gotta love um!

Yesterday when we were driving by this corner which is always inhabited by someone making a living on others' generousity, we actually had to give props to the guy who was occupying it. He held a sign that said "Hungry, fat and ugly." HAHAHA...his honestly alone deserves a tip. I mean, if he can actually stand there holding that sign, he deserves the money people give him. Lol.

What I can't figure out is...where do "homeless" people get the cardboard, and marker??? I don't even carry around a marker and I have an income! Hmmmm.....

Letting go...

To let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret.

Letting go isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past.

Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up.

Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind confidence in the future.

Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will have soon gain.

Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving.

Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free.

The face of an angel

NOT!!!!!

He's such a little brat, always trying to cause trouble with everyone.



But then Binx retaliated!

Nothing phases this boy! He doesn't mind loud noises, yelling or a swat on the butt. And he reaches out and tries to grab you when you walk by him. BOYS!!!

It worked!!! It really, really worked!!!

My camera refused to download any of the pictures I had loaded in it. I was beginning to panic because that means I'd never get to post pics of my mom's birthday cake. Lol. So after numberous attempts, it finally worked!

So now I need to play catch-up. Here's my mom's cake that I made her. :)


This is what a cake on fire looks like. Don't worry, we had the fire extinguisher on stand by....

And this is what a cake would look like if it was shot up with an oozie...

And last but not least....what we had for dessert....

What every woman wants to see

at some point in her life....

There's actually a point to this post! I'm 7 weeks late, and well, I just kept praying that it was because my body is adjusting after the surgery. I kept refusing to get a test, because suicide doesn't exactly appeal to me in this point of my life should the results have been positive. Lol. But last night, Whammo...I started feeling beyond sick to my stomach. I have a really strong stomach and it takes a lot for me to feel nautious. So I paniced and sent Mark to go buy me a pregnancy test.

He came home with this new kind, that actually reads out "pregnant" or "Not Pregnant". I never saw an automatic preg test before. While I was waiting for the results, I was fascinated by the hour glass that flashes to let you know the test is working. Thankfully I got the result you see above, but it looks like the days of the plus or minus signs are long gone. We're a world of high technologies that even extend to our pregnancy tests. Lol.

I just don't get it...I LOVE kids! Really I do...but I swear the maternal gene passed me right up. I was actually praying that it was food poisoning, rather than me being pregnant. I'd rather be dying in the hospital, then to be alive and pregnant! Damn doctor, he should have listened to me and just removed everything!!! Haha.

One lucky man!

Yesterday I was all prepared to be mad at my mom. But then, all of a sudden she walks into my house and announces that she just found a man's wallet in the street when she was on her way home from work. Yesterday was a windy day, and there's no telling how far the wallet had travled, not to mention that it was probably ran over by cars a couple of times. But when she walked up to it, it was laying wide open and some of the money was sticking out of the folded area.

We searched through the wallet, trying to find some phone number, so that we could contact him. There were appointment cards, pictures, a mexico ID, a "Permanent Residence" card, and LOTS of money. There were hundred dollar bills folded up and hidden through out the different areas. There were also two uncashed pay checks. But all we could find was one card with a phone number on it. So I called that number, and left a message. About 2 minutes later, a guy called but we couldn't understand each other because it sounded like he was out in the wind. So, we called him back, and kept trying, but it just wasn't working.

So I called the company who issued the pay checks to him, and told them that I was trying to locate one of their employees. Turns out, he lives and works down in Los Angeles, but he's a delivery driver and makes daily trips up to our military bases. Now of course they couldn't give out his personal information, but they asked if I wanted to send them the wallet. I was like "No, I'll mail it to him, but not to anyone else". So they took down my name and number, and within 10 minutes, a local phone number was calling my cell.

It was his sister, and she lives about a minute from me. His company called him, and he had her call me because he didn't speak very good english. So I talked to her on the phone for a good 10 minutes trying to figure this out because like I said, I wasn't going to hand the wallet over to anyone but him personally. There was over $1100 in cash in there, and we didn't want just anyone to get it. She was really nice, and we met her over at the local liquer store, across the street from where my mom found the wallet, to see if we could find anything that might have flown out of the wallet. Immediately, we found his driver's license and bank card. We also found a Kragen's card and what looked like a hotel room key. It's a good thing we went back over there.

So we were supposed to meet with him the following morning around 7am (today), but she called us back to ask if we could meet with him around 9 last night. He was on his way to LA when his company called him and told him that someone had found his wallet (he didn't even know it was gone yet), and he had to deliver the truck to his job, and then drive all the way back to Barstow (2 hour drive). But we agreed and met with him last night.

He was EXTREMELY grateful that he got his wallet back. Most people would never have returned it, let alone with so much money in it. He said that had he lost his wallet for good, he would have lost his job because he needs the ID's to get onto the bases he delivers on. The money inside was also his house payment. Not to mention, his green card, bank card, and other things were in there. The only thing he said was missing, was his insurance card (he must have looked right over it because my brother and I saw it in there). Now, whether some of the money in the fold that was partially hanging out had flown away, we don't know. But he still had a good chunk left ($1100 in cash and a couple hundred in uncashed checks). Poor guy, I would have been devestated with losing that much money. It may not be alot to some people, but for others, it's what they make in a paycheck.

So he tried to give my mom a reward...and we know that it was either $250 or $300 that he tried to give her. She refused it, and he said that he wants to take us all out for lunch sometime. I'm really proud of her, because she told him that she didn't give it back to him for a reward, that she did it because she would have wanted someone to do the same for her. See, this is the kind of woman that raised me. :) She has a lot of faults...but she is a good person when she chooses to be. We're just grateful that she's the one who found it about 30 minutes after he dropped it, instead of someone else who may have really screwed this guy over.

Last night

As I was standing back at the horses, staring out into the darkness, I had a fleeting thought about my life at that moment right then.

I wished that I could switch places with someone else...anyone else. To live in someone else's shoes for just a little while, and see what kind of life I could have had, had circumstances been any different.

Most of the time I'm grateful for my life but there are times when I wonder what it would be like to be someone else, to share someone else's memories, thoughts and life experiences...to just take a break from being me.

There are so many different types of person that I might have been...would I have been more religious, more trusting, more forgiving? Should I have cared more, shared more, had more? Could I have been more skinny, more cunning, more pretty? Would I have been more adventurous, more friendly, more knowing?

The sad thing is, I'll never know what I could have been, would have been, or should have been, because I am just me. I can not change the events that made me this person, nor do I fully know if I'd want to. But sometimes, I like to think of what things could have been like.

Dumb KFC!

I had a craving for KFC Saterday night, and we started to go to one that was about 3 minutes from my house. I hate going to this one because they never have Chicken Strips. We were right infront of it, when I told Mark that I didn't think we were going to that one anymore. Apparently he had forgotten, so we turned around and drove into town to the other KFC (about 5 minutes away). As we pulled up to their drive-thru, the guy told us to pull up to the window. He was leaning out of it and the first thing out of his mouth was "we have no chicken left". WHAT!?! IT'S KENTUCKY FRIED "CHICKEN", and you're telling me you have no chicken??? What was I supposed to order...a hamburger??? It was amazing...how can you not have one of the only things you sale?

I was crushed! It seemed like my craving was in vain. So we decided to go to Arby's instead. Now the funny thing is...Arby's is right next door to the first KFC we almost went to. As we drove up to Arby's, Mark goes "Let's try this KFC". I was reluctant, but whatever. As we drove up to their drive-thru, they had a sign posted on their board, asking you to pull up to their window. I was like "here we go again!". Thankfully though, they did have chicken, and more importantly, my strips. Yummy! I guess we should have tried them first. Lol.

Didn't you know she's perfect!?!

My mom is the most perfect person on earth!!! She has no faults, and everyone else is always in the wrong. It must be wonderful to know that everyone else is beneath you!

What BS! I always try my hardest not to judge people. Sometimes I have strong opinions about certain ideas, situations or people, but I'm never above trying to see things from a different angle. And I never condemn someone, even if I've chosen not to socialize with them. Do I think that things and people can be stupid? You bet! But to think that they're the scum of the earth because they live a different lifestyle or have different views than my own, is plain out stupid!

So back to my mom. She judges everything...and everyone. It gets tiring hearing about how wonderful she is, or thinks she is. What set me off is we were talking yesterday and I mentioned that Mark and I wanted to BBQ this weekend. She automatically invites herself and tells us to let her know what we want her to bring. Then I mention that we might invite someone else over...someone who we are maybe interested in getting to know better. She gets all huffy saying that she wants nothing to do with that person (whom she doesn't know either) and that they may be a really bad person and that they might have committed a murder in the past for all we know. So basically she uninvited herself, if this person is invited. Which is fine with me because she wasn't invited anyways. But don't you usually have to extend yourself to a certain point, to get to know anyone?

But damn, like she has any freakin room to talk...in the past, she's moved two of her boyfriends in, when she had barely known either of them for more than a month. Who's to say they weren't child molestors? Or that they weren't druggies? Why would she take that chance when she still had a young child at home? Like she's the world's greatest example of passing judgement! In the past week, she's been to two parties, that has given alcohol to minors (17 year olds), then turned around and bitched about it. Why go in the first place, when you knew it was going to happen? I'm so tired of hearing her put everyone else down. People are not perfect...we aren't meant to be perfect! Ok, technically we are, but we could never be perfect.

AGH!

Goodbye Mr. Paw Paws

Sadly, one of our cats passed away yesterday. Mr. Paw Paws was a special cat, born in a normal liter of four, he was the only one who was a little "off". As he grew, we knew he wouldn't get much bigger and we named him Mr. Paw Paws, after the cartoon I used to watch as a kid (Paw Paw Bears). It seemed only fitting, since they were the world's smallest bears, and he was going to be a small cat. He ended up with a normal sized body, but his legs were short and stubby, and he had a short neck. We joked and called him our dwarf kitty. His hair was also really thick and sort of curly, and would mat up really badly. He got lots of tangles, that even the vet had a hard time getting rid of. He didn't like jumping onto things (probably because of his short legs) and he would kinda stumble when he walked, it was really stiff legged. We knew he had problems, but he was still our little Paw Paws.

A couple of years ago, he got a really bad abscess on his throat, and we had to rush him to the vet's at around 8:00 pm, on New Year's Eve. We sat there for almost 3 hours waiting for them to drain it and Neuter him at that same time. It healed, and then a month later, came back. After no less than 5 trips to the vets over an 8 month time period for that abscess, it finally went away. We should have known something wasn't right with him because during his third operation, his breathing started to decline and they had to stop the surgery because they were afraid of losing him on the table. After that, we just had them drain it while he was awake.

He became an indoor cat, occupying our spare bedroom (because he'd try to fight our house cat Binx - he was a little instigator). For some reason, I decided to put him outside in May, because of my surgery coming up. He did wonderfully and he loved being out with the other cats. But then one day in July, he started wobbling when he walked. I brought him back inside thinking he was dehydrated, and he was inside for 3-4 weeks, which during this time, he was fine, but still had the wobble. I noticed that he didn't get up as much when I came into the room, until I called him, but didn't think much of it. So about 2 weeks ago, I put him back outside. Two days ago, my mom said that something was wrong with him because he wasn't following her all around. I went out and checked him, and he seemed alert, just itchy in his ears. So I put some ear mite solution in them and hoped he'd become more himself. I should have taken him back into the house!

Yesterday evening, my mom came outside and told Mark and I that she didn't see him. So we went looking for him. Sadly, we found him curled up underneath an old dollhouse. It looked like he went to sleep and just never woke up. I could tell that he had been dead for a couple of hours already. :( So this morning, I had to take him to the vet, to have him cremated, where he will always be with us. I guess I should have never put him back outside, but he seemed to enjoy being out of that spare bedroom so much, it didn't seem fair to keep him in it. He was such a good little cat and he will be deeply missed.

Our little Paw Paws (seven years old)....

What strength!

I have always been deeply touched by the strength that parents have when their children are terminally ill. I guess that's why I try to donate to "St. Judes". I can not even begin to try to understand what it must be like to know that your child is dying, and yet, you hold out hope that you'll receive the miracle of a lifetime. My heart bleeds for those who do not get that miracle.

I recently stumbled upon a blog about a little boy and his struggles through life. Unfortunately, his very young life came to an end yesterday morning. His mother has shown such strength during this heart breaking time, and she has kept her faith in God throughout the struggle. She is truly an inspiration, and I am so very sorry for her loss. It's a really hard blog to read through, but it restores one's faith that life continues on, regardless of the heartaches along the way.

http://www.sweetbabyjames.info/wordpress/

This is going to get a little personal

Ok, so I've been sitting here thinking about my friend cheating on her husband, and it got me to thinking. What exactly is marriage? Is it truly a special unity between two people that signifies an undying love for each other...or is it a temperary, impulsive moment of insanity?

Who's to say that you're still going to love your spouse in, oh say, 10 years? Who's to say that what you feel now, will be what you feel forever? And who's to say that you won't fall in and out of love with others throughout the years? Love is an easy thing to come by, even if you're not looking for it. There is NO WAY that you can work around the opposite sex day after day, and not start to get feelings for someone. It's impossible, no matter how much you love your wife or husband, and it doesn't necessarily mean you want to leave the person you're with. But feelings do happen beyond our control.

It finally hit me how "long-term" marriage is actually supposed to be. I love Mark with all of my heart now, but how can I say that I won't meet someone else along the way...or that he won't? A life is a really long thing (hopefully) and to make a vow one moment that will last the rest of it, is a really unfair thing to do. Maybe I'm just being pissy because Mark and I are at odds...but it does open your eyes up to a whole new world.

I realized that Mark too, is only 80% of what I want. Ok, we'll make it 90%. I still, after almost 9 1/2 years, feel a void in our relationship. I have never felt "magic" there. Never! I have always had love and friendship, but I have never had "excitement" or "sparks". I've always said that I love Mark, but I'm not in love with him. Sometimes, I have to step back and realize that I will never feel "magic" with Mark, and it's hard because that means that I will never feel it, period. I wonder if that's what a lot of other couples feel towards their mates, and if that lack of magic, is what leads one to cheat. But that's not necessarily something you go around asking married couples, or they volunteer.

I've always heard that phrase "Walk a mile in my shoes" but truthfully, that never applied towards anyone who cheated. They were always in the wrong, plain and simple. But now, I can sort of understand the reasoning behind it. It's not to say that you don't love the person you're with, but maybe you're lacking something there that doesn't make you feel complete. Then you stupidly try to find it with someone else, so that you feel whole again. (Did I basically describe what you were trying to tell me last night?)

I'm not saying it's right, but maybe it's not just a black and white issue either. I'm finding that there can be so many things that lead to cheating, and being a dog, isn't necessarily the only one. Lol. I do feel sort of bad for people who feel a void. How can you give up a life with someone who you love, when you're only trying to replace something missing in it? Most of the time, I don't even feel married to Mark. We just feel like best friends. Like so many other couples, I wonder why the flame has to die down? And how can we keep it burning so that it doesn't die out?

Warning...dangerous cake recipe!

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE

4 tablespoons cake flour(that's plain flour, not self-rising)
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons baking cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips(optional)
a small splash of vanilla essence
1 coffee mug

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla essence, and mix again. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts. The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).

And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world? Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!!!

Gotta love cake!

In honor of the Cake Blog (in my "other awesome blogs" area), I wanted to share this video. If you haven't checked out that blog, do it...I love her comments and snarkiness. Lol. Seems like I've had a lot of cake lately, and since my birthday is coming up, guess what??? More cake! Mmmmmmm......cake!



YAY!!! I finally did an actual video, instead of a link!!! :D

He's so stupid!

I talked to Mark last night about what happened with the cop, and he said that he did it to be funny. I knew he did it on purpose!!! I was livid. He embarrassed us all for some stupid joke.

And what's worse is it shows he has absolutely no respect for authority, or for another fellow human being for that matter. I told him how he embarrassed us, and he said "Whatever Sara" and turned around and walked off, leaving me back by the horses by myself, at 9:30, in the dark. I stayed back there another hour and a half, to cool down, and he was lucky that he was asleep by the time I came home. I even asked my brother about it, and he said that he thought Mark had froze up when trying to talk to the officer, and that it sounded like he paniced and tried to blurt something out. He couldn't believe that Mark actually did it on purpose. He even agreed that it made Mark look really stupid. AGH!!!!!!

The tables turn

A few months ago, I wrote a post about one of my friends who's husband told her that he was in love with another woman. I don't want to get into that again, but I did rant and rave that she deserved better than her husband. I've just never been able to see the point behind cheating, or leaving your spouse for someone else!

That is...until I talked to a good friend last night. I just found out that she cheated on her husband. I know him too, so it was hard for me to hear about it, but I think I have a better understanding to what may lead someone to venture outside the marriage. I know she reads my blog, and I'm sure she won't mind me sharing what she told me (will ya girl?). So here it goes, from the side of a cheater...

Let me just start out by saying I recieved a message from my friend, telling me what had happened. Now, I'm not as close to her husband as I am her, but my first reaction was getting upset. I felt somehow like I was the one who was betrayed. Maybe because I thought I knew her better than that, and that she'd never do something so horrible. Or maybe I was just mad that she could treat her husband like that. I don't know. So I sent her a message back basically yelling at her and asking her how she could be so stupid. She knew exactly where I was coming from, and she didn't take offense at all, but her response back to me made me stop in my tracks and think about her situation from her point of view.

She has been happily married for about 9 years. Her and her husband are really close and they love each other. But she told me that despite the love, she felt like something was missing from her life. As she put it..."My husband is 80% of what I need. But the other 20% is out there somewhere, in someone else." She said that people who cheat are simply not satisfied with their life, whether they're searching for more love, affection, or simply to feel more alive...there's something missing. She also said that she was honest with her husband after it happened, and they are working towards making things better between the both of them.

I'm not really sure if that's ever really possible, because if something was missing to make her cheat, then I doubt that he will be able to provide that 20% for her. It makes me sad, because she is a really GOOD person, and I know that she must have felt very strongly about what she needed, in order to jeopardize her marriage. I don't think any differently of her because of this, but maybe I'm a bit more understanding to the "cheater's point of view" now. You can't always control your heart, sometimes it stretches out for the things that we know we shouldn't want.

THAT'S IT!!!! I'm officially annoyed!

My brother is test-driving a new job right now. Today was his first official day of his trial period. Stupid me, I had Mark go with us when I dropped Marcus off for work. Marcus' job is on the local Marine Base, and they have military hired cops at the gate before you enter post.

As we pulled up to the officer, Mark said "Yes...we're giving this...a...this young man here...a ride to work", in a very condescending tone. The way he did it, he sounded like that snipity old man in the Grey Poupon commericials. The officer just looked at him, then looked over his driver's license for a full minute before handing it back. Good grief! I don't know if Mark actually tried to sound superior to the officer, or if he was trying to sound smarter than he is. But he sounded absolutely ass-hole-ish. He should have said something like "We're giving my brother in law a ride to work" or "we're giving him a ride to work". I wanted to crawl under the seat and die, I was so embarrassed. I was expecting the officer to give Mark a hard time...can't say I would have blamed him. Mark erks me sometimes so bad....I sometimes have to stop and remember why I married him in the first place. Geeze, if he treats his co-workers as poorly as he did that cop, then it's no wonder that they give him a hard time at work.

I'm actually mad at Mark because of this, and the sad thing is...I totally expect it from him. He always tries to change his vocabulary to sound like he's more intelligent than he is, it's embarrassing! And you should hear him act like he knows how to speak spanish, when he's talking to one of his mexican friends. He'll throw all these spanish words into the conversation, and truthfully, he has no freakin clue what he's saying. I've caught him saying the wrong words several times, and I can only imagine how many laughs his friends get out of this behind his back. Why can't he just be himself, then he wouldn't look so stupid! How can I love someone who actually embarrasses me???

Only a mom would know.....

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of watching me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news, when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!'

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up. Then she says, (as only a mother would know)....

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'

Now, that had to put a smile on your face !!!!!

5 pounds heavier....way to go diet!!!

Alright, so it's just water weight, but still...I'm supposed to be losing, not gaining!!! LOL. It gets frustrating getting off the scale, then I have to go in and put on a pair of my jeans, to feel good again.

I guess it's ok, I'd rather lose inches than pounds anyway! My diet is going ok, I don't know if it's the drinking of more liquids, or just my mind set, but I'm actually fitting better in my clothes, and I still have my motivation. :) I'm drinking ALOT every day (and peeing non-stop!) but I stopped drinking sodas. And I'm cutting down on my meals. I have to say, my energy level is WAAAAY up! I actually feel like doing house work, and I walk back to the horses "several" times a day now, just to say hello and get the exercise.

I desperately need to lose weight, because I'm tired of being fat! Two years ago, I was sitting in one of the classrooms I was working in, and the teacher straight out said "If you're lazy, it's because you choose to be." It FINALLY struck me...I am fat because I'm lazy, and because I choose NOT to take the measures to lose the weight. It was a real "heaven's gates opening and choirs singing" moment for me. I started exercising that day, and I lost 20 pounds (which I still have off today). I did have to stop all the exercising when I started having problems though, and after the surgery, it's been really hard to get back into the routine. But I'm doing it now, and I hope that I have the self-love to stick to it!

So yes, I've gained about 5 pounds, but I seriously think I was dehydrated before I started dieting. I'm one of those people who isn't overly thristy most of the time, unless it's a sugary drink. I could live off of one 16 oz bottle of water and a soda a day, easily. So forcing myself to drink more than 64 oz, is killer. The first three days, I was hardly peeing at all, I guess my body was hydrating itself and retaining all the liquid. But man, since then, it's been Niagra Falls! Hahaha. But I've also been more energetic too. I read somewhere that dehydration causes fatigue. I definately believe that after the turn-around I've experienced. But thank goodness it's summer. I have no idea how I'm gonna force that much liquid in me when it's not even hot out. :S

I've got giraffs!!!

Two of them!!! I went out to the horses today, and they were GONE! In their place, was two giraffs. I'm abolutely stunned! Did Zoey and Gideon decide to up and leave, and to give me two imposters in their absence....or did they magically change into odd shaped creatures???

If you want proof....


This is the male giraff....


And this is his female companion....


They resemble my horses...yet they have these nasty long looking necks. Maybe if I'm patient, my two little horses will come back. ;)

Wow, is he in a mood!

Mark has been sooooo bitchy lately. I can't take much more of it!!!! He has gone waaaay too far this time, and well...I don't think I can forgive him!!!!

He had the nerve to call my MySpace background "gay". Ummmm...I see nothing "gay" about having a fairy picture!!! See...he's not homophobic, so that's how I know he's in a mood, or he would never use that term. It just urks me! Besides, I think my fairy is beautiful!!!


Afterwards, he apologized and said he was just pissed about some guy asking me out earlier that day. Tisk, tisk!

Moments of a moron....

See...if I still had my blonde hair, we'd just chalk this up to one of those "dumb blonde" moments. But unfortunately, almost all the blondes gone now, replaced by beautiful natural brown. :( So we'll just say that this was a incident from all the brain cells that were damaged from all the bleaching. :)

I went down town this morning, and decided that I'd put gas in the car. Now...in almost 7 years of driving, I've only put gas in the cars maybe 10 times? I NEVER put gas in the cars!!! And the handful of times I have, I always go to one of two gas stations. Never any others. Until today.....

I was driving down Main Street, when I noticed that gas was $3.95 at this one station. Now, since we've had the misfortune of paying up to $4.70, this was a steal! It just so happens that the other two gas stations I go to, are both out of commition right now, so I'm beginning to think this was fate's evil trick on me.

I pull into the gas station, turn off the car, go inside and pay the cashier. Everything's fine at this point. Then I go out, undo my gas tank cap, and insert the nozzle. Ummm...at this point, I swing around to press the button....only there is NO button!!! I quickly move my head from side to side in a zig-zag kind of motion, trying to find the damn button. After scanning the WHOLE pump and seeing no button, I start pressing every round or square thing there is on this pump. Then this woman walks up to me and asks me if I know how far Arizonia is from here. I had no clue, so I told her I'd call my friend who should know. So I try locating Bridget's number in my cell phone and can't find it ANYWHERE. A HA...there it is...so I call her up.

Right before hanging up with her, I hear the pump beeping behind me. I start getting frustrated because I have no idea what to do. I hang up and try again to find a button. The woman walks up to me, and "lifts the nozzle handle"! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT???? I thanked her and told her that I had never gotten gas there before. Could I be any more stupider? It would seem no...but I could...and I showed it shortly after.

So I tell her what Bridget told me, and she went inside. Thinking I had finally found the key to my problem, I tried squeezing the nozzle trigger. Nothing! I tried and tried, then turned around to once again find a button of some sort. She ends up coming outside and I tell her that I must be having "one of those mornings" because it still won't pump. Right behind her is the cashier guy and he tells me that my time ran out. WHAT??? So he told me to lower the nozzle and that he would restart the pump. Goodness!

So he did, and after a few "I'm so sorry"'s and "I've never been here before"'s, I finally got my gas and hightailed it out of there.

I don't think I'll be going back to that gas station anymore!!! I had no idea that you could work a pump by the handle! At the other two stations I go to, one has a BIG square button you press, and the other has a small red button that glows. How embarrassing!!!!!!!!!!!

Tommie thinks she's funny!!!

This is a little something that she created and posted on my MySpace page. Thanks Tommie!!! :P

We had visitor's!

Yesterday morning I could tell that Zoey was on guard. I looked around and didn't see anything. Then a big black dog came into view. It wasn't anywhere near the horses, but it was sort of on the side of them. Then out of nowhere, this little "rat" dog (chihuhua) appeared and started yapping at me. Stupid thing! The horses aren't scared of dogs, which surprises me because they had a dog break into the pen once and chase them. Anyways, here's the little bugger...

I'm pretty sure that he's the same dog that came to visit them in May. And it might be the same black dog too. Hmmm?

I sure wish the neighbors would just keep their dogs at home!!!!!

Horse'in around!

I went out and spent a couple of hours out with the horses. I am beat!!! I have been so out of shape because of being sick, and then doctor's orders to take it easy. I'm now getting into the swing of things and starting to do more around the house.

I got the crazy idea to give the horses a bath....something they used to get weekly during summer months. They haven't had an actual bath since April when I clipped them. I just couldn't do it with not being able to bend or apply pressure. And since Gideon can get dangerous during baths, it's not like I could have someone give them one for me. So I go out there, and forgot the shampoo.

I decide to clean their water trough instead. Ick. It was all slimmy and had black and red mold growing in there. I always give it a quick cleaning when I fill it up, but I haven't gotten down in it until today. I was a little scared to use my stomach muscles, but it was fine. Took me a good hour just to clean that stupid thing. I had to empty it first by using a bucket. Then I had to scrub it out. I got tired of bending over the sides, so I actually crawled into it. My brother thought it would be funny to catch the moment in a picture. Lol. That part was actually quite relaxing because the horses started massaging my back, haha. Then they decided to come around to the front and lick my face.

Then my brother ran home and got me some shampoo. Zoey was worse than Gideon during their baths. I couldn't believe it. Gideon has changed so much since we got him. He's so trusting of us now, it amazes me. I tied them up to let them dry a little, and then we took them up to the grass for a bit as a small reward. Then they went back to their pen and got their hay. Hopefully that will stop them from rolling until they are finally dry. One can wish anyways!

(Not Gideon's best pose!)

I came home and jumped in the shower. Not that I don't love how horses smell, I just don't want to smell like one. Haha.

Invasion of privacy?

I'd bet on it! Did you know that there's a really good possibility that you can see your house on the internet? And what I mean by that, is not some aerial shot, but an honest to goodness zoom in of your place. I think it's sort of cool, but at the same time, it's creepy! A friend of mine told me about it, and sure enough, I went there and saw my place and 2 of my vehicles. Any closer and you could have read my license plates.

While I do think this can help, say in finding a business, I also think it's nobody's business what my house or property look like. Especially if you're a stranger! And who the hell drove by my house, to take a picture of it, to post on the web??? When did they do it??? Like I said, creepy. Watch what you do...the eye in the sky is watching!

To see if you're a lucky one too, go to....

http://maps.google.com/

(enter your address, zoom in a bit, select 'Street View' on the tabs)

The four stages of life.....

YouTube is awesome!

I spent hours last night catching up on some of the cartoons I listed yesterday. I had forgotten so much about some of them. I mean, I live with this memory of how great some of them are, but I honestly couldn't remember much about them because I was so little.

Since I was catching up on old times, I decided to go back and look up a couple of my old time favorite series. There weren't many, but I swear I watched every single episode of each of them. So here's my little list and a little interesting info on them, that I didn't know at the time.....

* Land of the Lost - I don't know why I liked this show, but the enoks were awesome!!! This was a show from the 70's, where a man, his daughter and son all go down a waterfall, into a land of dinosaurs and creatures. It was entertaining to a 5 year old. :)

* Kids Incorperated - This series started I think in 1984. It was about this group of friends who performed (sang) at the local diner. They also sang through out the show, as they worked their way through their problems. There was a blonde girl named Stacy...who today, is known as Fergie. Yep, I was watching Fergie perform when she was around 10 years old. Then in the later 80's, another "young" actress appeared on the show. At the time, she went by the name of Love. It wasn't until years later, that I realized that Love was actually Jennifer Love Hewette.

* The Mickey Mouse Club - Of course we all know that this is where JC Chavez (N-Sync), Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilara and Britney Spears all got their beginning. But did you know that it's also where Jason Priestley and Kerri Russell first started too? Jason Priestly was in a small series on the show called "Teen Angel" where he played a ghost who came to help a gas station attentant (played by Robin Lively). Kerri Russell was a regular.

* Small Wonders - A man builds a little girl robot, named Vicky, who is then adopted into the family. They have to keep the fact that she's a robot secret, but they have a really nosy neigbor Hariette.

* Mr. Belvedere - I loved this show! There was this cranky old butler who was always getting bugged by this little boy named Wesley. It was hilarious!

* Webster - Awe...a little black boy was adopted by the "Poppa Doppalases", a white husband and wife. A really cute show!

* Different Strokes - Everyone already knows about this one, but Arnold (Gary Coleman) and his brother Willis are adopted by an old man named Mr. Drummond, who has a daughter named Kimberly.

* Hey Dude - A really funny show about these kids who work on a dude ranch in the middle of the desert. They always got themselves into some kind of mischief and had to work together to plan how to get out of it. This show introduced a younger Christine Taylor (Ben Stiller's wife).

* Are You Afraid of the Dark? - Nothing special here, just an awesome show. :)

Of ocurse there were other shows that I enjoyed, I just can't think of any right now. I wasn't a huge Punky Brewster fan (sorry).

The 80's ruled!!!

I remember having several conversations with my friends over the years, about our favorite 80's cartoons. You know, I spent hours apon hours watching cartoons when I was little, there were just so many of them. Of course I had my favorites though, and surprisingly, no one seems to remember any of those ones. So I thought it would be fun to reminisce on the good ol' days. :) So theses were some of my favorites...

The Paw Paw Bears
Shirt Tales
The Biskitts
The Wuzzles
The Littles
Rainbow Brite
My Little Pony
The Care Bears
The Get Along Gang
Strawberry Shortcake
The Muppet Babies
Inspector Gadget
Scooby Doo, where are you?
He-Man/She-Ra
The Poppals
The Racoons
The Adventures of Teddy Ruxbin
The Pound Puppies
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Berenstein Bears
Charlie Brown
Garfield
Heathcliff
Dennis the Menace
The Adventures of Johnny Quest
Gummy Bears
The Flintstones (I think these were older?)
The Jetsons
Fluppy Dogs
Ghostbusters
Glo Friends
The Snorks
The Smurfs
Ritchie Rich
Thundercats
Voltron
Transformers
Beetlejuice
The Potato Head Kids
Yogi Bear and Friends
Duck Tails (closer to the 90's)

I'm sure that there are many, many more...but these are the ones that when I think about them, I can picture a time or place where I watched them. It brings back great memories, and I recently found some of these on YouTube, so I can go back and relive some of my childhood.

Colors of the heart...I mean mouth!

In wake of my brother's current problem...he got two white fillings in his teeth, so he can't drink any colored liquids for 2 days...I thought this would be a good time to stress a problem I have.

Have you ever noticed how the best drinks are those that stain your mouth??? Most people drink coffee, and we all know what that will do to your teeth. But what about those non-addictive drinks? My favorite of all slushies, is blueberry. I love, love, love blueberry slushies. But I refuse to drink them anytime near when I have to go down town. They always stain my mouth blue, and Mark makes fun of me, saying it looks like I made out with a smurf. I'm really big on drinking water right now, and I've been tasting Crystal Lites to see which ones are better tasting. Wouldn't you know it??? I love the Hawaiian punch, Tropical punch and cherry. All three are red, and will leave a mustach. It's horrible! Why can't they make yummy drinks in safe colors??? Is it their goal to humiliate their customers??? Lol. I guess the best things in life are those that we should stay away from...or at least use with caution when walking amongst strangers. HAHA.

Turned out a lot better!

Well we decided at the last minute not to go to Idol Spurs for my mom's birthday. We showed her the menu (via online) and she wasn't interested. She's not a meat eater, and this place is famous for their outrageously priced steak dinners. So she wanted to go to this mexican restaurant, Hacienda Calima, and get their nachos. It was a nice dinner, then we came home, made mixed drinks and played video games the rest of the night. That's my 3rd time drinking this year...man, I must be forming a habit. :) I made some strawberry daquiries, and who knows what the other thing was...a mixture of strawberries, bananas, lemon margarita mix, daquirie mix, ice, and rum. It was pretty good, with a bit of a tang to it. Yummy!

My cake turned out a lot better looking than the other one, although it wasn't quite as yummy. I'm trying to upload the pics onto the computer, but the computers being dumb and not doing anything I want it to today. Maybe tomorrow.....

SWEET justice!

Last night, Mark and I went to Walmart. We had to get birthday cards for my mom, and look into a present for her. I guess I should back track a little. While we were waiting for Mark with our drinks at the movie theater, a guy kept walking past my mom and I, and smiling at me. He kept standing right next to us, and I tried my hardest to ignore him before he said something to me. As we were driving to Walmart, I told Mark about it. He didn't say anything, but joked it's a good thing I ignored him.

So now we're at Walmart and these 5 mexican guys had walked by us several times. Mark always gets antsy when mexican guys are around because he knows that they're my weakness. :) So, we end up in the card isle, and Mark goes to the opposite end of the isle. It was an empty isle, except for me at one end, a woman in the middle, and Mark at the other end (these are long isles). Well, the guys walk by the isle, and then I hear one of them say "No wait, I want to go down this way." They all turned back around, and came down the card isle. They stopped RIGHT behind me and stood there for a couple of minutes talking. I felt Mark's eyes on me, and I refused to turn around and look at any of the guys, but man was it hard because they were only a foot away. I just listened to them talking, and acted like I was still looking at the cards (although I had already picked mine out). Finally, they started walking down towards Mark, and I turned to see Mark as he was already walking toward me. He was jealous! And coming to show the guys that I was with him. Haha.

So I hear about it allllllll the way home. He's a bit peeved, though I don't know why because I didn't stand there staring at them. But I think it's the fact that the guys were buzzing around me. Lol. So we get home and I can't help but laugh as I explain this. Hahahahaha. I go over to my mom's and she tells me that the guy who lives behind us, came by our house while we were gone. Now let me explain this...the guy who lives behind us, is also mexican and around my age. Mark doesn't care for the fact that a single, young, mexican guy lives behind us, but he's been a good sport about it. That is...until he saw this guy and me wave at each other one day. I look at it this way, it's better to be neighborly, and this guy started waving to me first. It's not like we've ever spoken, just sometimes we all wave to our neighbors because it's the neighborly thing to do. So Mark bitched about that for some time, and pretty muchly let it go.

Friday, we got a magazine in our mail for a guy named Jack. I know how irritating it is to have a magazine get lost in the mail, so I taped a note to the guy who lives behind us's mailbox, asking him if his name is Jack, and telling him that if so, we got a magazine in the mail for him. That night, he taped the note back on our mailbox saying yes, his name is Jack. We didn't see him Saterday or early Sunday, so we couldn't give it to him, and I know better than to mess with someone else's mailbox. So I assumed that's why he had come up to our house last night.

I go home and tell Mark that he needs to take the magazine back to him. He starts saying "Don't you wanna come?", "You can do the talking, so that you guys aren't strangers anymore", and all this stuff in a smart-ass tone. I told him "No, I don't want to go and if I wanted to talk to him, I'd do it when I went back to the horses and I see him outside." He wouldn't let up, and finally he says "then just walk back there with me and keep me company". So...tired of arguing with him about not going back there and possibly putting myself in another guy-related arguement, I gave in.

Mark went up and knocked, while I stood on the outside of the fence a good 20 feet away. Jack opens the door in nothing but his underwear. I about died! HAHAHAHAHAHA. He definately isn't shy, and I have no further comment because I'm a married woman. :) But Mark was unusually quiet on the walk home, and he has yet to say anything about it. HAHAHAHAHAHA...he rags on me to the point that I'm forced to go with him, and then I get to see a guy in his unmentionables. I bet'cha that's the last time Mark makes me do something I don't wanna do. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Today's my mom's birthday!

Everyone's still sleeping (except for Mark, who's at work). I'm making her a cake in a little while. NOTHING fancy this time, just a simple German Chocolate two layered cake. Then we're taking her out to dinner at Idol Spurs. It's one of Barstow's fanciest restuarants, and I hear that they're really expensive and fancy. Mark's ate there before and says it's not all that. But my mom has never ate there before, and we thought it'd be a nice treat for her, because she's always been curious.

So.........

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Mom,
Happy Birthday to you!

A busy weekend

I had a busy weekend! Saterday we spent a couple of hours back with the horses, doing chores that needed to be done. It was nice to finally do them. Then we got ready to go grocery shopping. It took us 3 1/2 hours. Kinda a long day.

Yesterday, we went to see "The Pineapple Express". That move was sooooooooooo funny! I can't wait to see it again. I laughed from beginning to end, although I'm sure that a lot of people would be offended because it dealt with smoking weed. Man, my thoat still hurts from laughing so much. They showed some previews for some comedies coming out, and they had me cracking up before the movie even began. I definately give this movie a two thumbs way up! I had to pee half way through the movie, but I refused to get up and go because I didn't want to miss anything. Have you ever had to pee really bad and laugh hysterically on top of it??? I was dying by the time the credits finished rolling. I practically ran to the bathroom.

Then we came home, and had my mom and brother over for dinner. We watched Nim's Island, and Penelope. I had already seen Nim's Island, and it's good...but not nearly as good as Penelope. I remember seeing previews for that movie, and thought it looked kinda stupid. But my mom wanted to see it, so we rented it. It was a GOOD movie. I think it's one of my favorite's right now....besides Pineapple Express of course. It had ALOT of meaning, and it was an all around feel good movie. :) Plus I kinda think that the pig nose is cute! ;)

"21" anyone?

I saw that movie and I was really impressed. I knew it looked good, but you know how sometimes you get disappointed? But this movie also made me a little mad. It's based on this college teacher who has 5 kids that he teaches to count cards. They set up this wonderful scheme, and go to Vegas every weekend, to cheat the casinos. Of course, he gets 50% of the cut, and it's a genius plan. With one exception...a casino security guy catches on to what they are doing, and puts a stop to it.

Now, for people who are soooo smart, they are really dumb. This movie was based on a true story, and I can't help but feel happy that they got caught. There's nothing illegal about counting cards, but it's highly discouraged. Instead of these people going to Vegas every weekend, where someone could catch on, they should have alternated between Atlanta, Jersey, Vegas, Reno, Laughlin and some of the casinos here in Southern California. I mean hello....the more you bounce around, the less likely someone is to remember you.

My mom used to date this guy names Ed. I HATED playing cards with him, because he always knew what I had in my hand. ALWAYS!!! I would sit there and watch him shuffle, and pass the cards out, and he'd never do anything obvious. And the cards weren't marked. But he would always tell me not to put this or that down, or to hold on to this or that. It was very infuriating. Then I figured it out, we played on a shiny wooden table and he must be catching the reflection as he passed them out. So I demanded that we put a towell down to prevent a reflection. Didn't work, he still always knew. I have no idea how he did it because he would never tell us. But I learned really quickly, not to play with him for too long. :P

A great Quote, and message for "Life"

I watched a movie two days ago (Even Money) and it had a man speaking at the beginning, and at the end. What he was saying, hit close to home for me, and I'm sure many others, as it can be taken any number of ways and to fit many, many situations. So I thought I'd put it here for others to ponder.

"If you want to know the truth about someone,
find their dream, and work backwards.

We're all chasing something...
more money, more love, maybe just one more chance.

What we're really looking for, is more life.
Yes...more of this beautiful life.

But if you're not careful,
You might go looking for more, and wind up with less.

It's a beautiful world, and we ought to be satisfied.
But the truth is, we all want more.

Some take a chance for the rush of winning,
some, for love.

But you can't have your dream,
without laying "something" on the line.

The key is....
not to risk what you can't afford."

Just because...

Took this today, and thought it was special enough to share.

Wow, coincidental!

Move over Bridget! A girl my mom works with (named Toni) went to the Harvey House Thursday night to hang out with friends. One of Toni's friends looked up and said "Did you see that?" They all looked up and not even a minute later, they saw a woman in a white robe walk past a window on the second floor. It was like 11:00 that night.

I don't know if I believe in "ghosts", but I do believe that there are things out there that go bump in the night. That's two people, count them TWO, that has seen a ghost at this place in the last week. And I'm assuming the two don't even know each other! Weird!

WHY????????

I keep going through these periods where I can't insert emoticons in my blog. WHY???? Emoticons are a part of me!!! It's very frustrating!!!

Parents should be smarter!

I meant to write about this a few days ago, but it wasn't until I saw a recent post from someone else, that I was reminded of it. Carrie wrote about parents who have to pay the price for decisions they make, regarding their children.

I know I have stressed on here several times that there are parents out there, that have absolutely no right to be parents. They don't look after their kids, and they sure as hell don't think about the things they do, that will affect their kids. I know a lot of my readers have children, and most of you are darn good parents. But not all children are so lucky. I have neighbors who allow their little toddlers to wonder in the road, or to be alone in their yards. How can they not realize how many sick people there are in this world, who only need an invitation to do something? A neighbor has a 2 year old child who is constantly in their huge yard alone. He could easily stand behind one of the vehicles and get hit by someone backing up.

But I guess the thing that really bothers me, is we went out to eat a few days ago. Outside the restaurant, there were 5 or 6 kids that looked like they were only 4-8 years old. They were asking people as they went in, if they could have $5 to buy a pizza. WTF??? There were NO adults around supervising these kids. Not only were they panhandling strangers for money, but they were also running out in the road where cars kept driving by. My personal thoughts are that the parents were probably getting high somewhere, and sent the kids out to "play" or they themselves sent the kids out to give others a "sad story". I wanted soooo badly to call the cops on the parents, whoever they were.

I just can't stress enough that parenting is a priveledge. Your kids should mean more to you than anyone or anything else in this world! Pay attention to them, and make smart choices for THEM before it's too late!!! You see on the news all the time, how children come up missing and worse off, murdered. A parent should make sure that there is never, ever, even a chance that their child can be taken. Why are so many parents so neglecting now days? If you don't want the responsibility of having a child, or making the right decisions concerning that child, then give it to someone who will. Children being put into potentially dangerous situations is NOT acceptable!!! Please, please, please, make sure that you put your children first!!!

Another vent

On the wake of the new helicopter crash in Norhtern California (where 9 firefighters are feared dead), I decided to write something that has been on my mind for some time and I just wasn't sure how to post it without it upsetting those who serve our country.

I always get a bit peeved when I walk into a store and "Military Discount" is posted on the window or on signs. Not to sound unpatriotic or anything...but I just don't understand why businesses cater to them so much. Shouldn't ALL civil service workers be appreciated?

If a business is having trouble, they're not going to call the military in to take care of the problem. So why don't businesses extend that same discount to the local police men, ambulance workers and firefighters who ARE going to be there for them? It makes me mad that those who risk their lives on a daily basis, here in THIS country, are not considered nearly as important.

Yes give the military their discount, but damnit, give it to everyone else who risks their lives to give you the freedom and safety that you have too!!!!

Being a woman...

A woman has amazing strengths. She can deal with stress and carry heavy burdens. She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying. She cries when she's happy and laughs when she's afraid. And most importantly, her love is unconditional. There's only one thing wrong with her...she forgets what she's worth!

So for all the women out there who are struggling or feel like you are unappreciated or misunderstood, I want to remind you that you are beyond special!

Ack...diets suck!!!

I started mine today, and I guess we'll see how it goes. I have a really bad habit of starting, stopping, starting, stopping...I'm the perfect example of dieting gone wrong. It's so hard because I always seem to do the wrong type of diet, and I get burnt out really quickly. So I hope the one I'm doing now, I'll be able to handle it for a while. I'd just like to get back down to what I weighed when Mark and I got together.

I've already lost (and kept off) about 20 pounds, and it's a good thing because I won't allow myself to go above a certain weight. I was only 7 pounds away from that weight, and if I would have reached it, I would have seriously started an eating disorder. Being cautious of what I was eating, and exercising, helped me to lose that weight, but then, I started having the medical issues and I couldn't move around a whole lot without dying in pain. So now, I have to wait until I can exercise again. Although...in this humid heat...who wants to sweat even more??? :(

You know, I'm actually trying to eat more - to lose more. How on earth does that work??? I'm going from 2 medium meals and several snacks a day, to 6 actual meals. I'm eating every 2 and a 1/2 hours. Two of those meals are fruit. And I'm trying to give up the bad drinks and stick to water. If I stick to this for a few days, then I'll let you all know how it's going. Lol.

A familiar touch

I remember a time when I wasn't used to Mark's touch. He'd barely touch my arm or leg, and I'd get an exciting pair of butterflies fluttering in my stomach, along with a tingling sensation in the wake of where he had just caressed.

I don't know if it has been the time that's passed us by, or the feeling that now I know him so well, but over the years, his touch has become so familiar that I feel as if it's my own hand that rubs my face, or body. It seems as though, those butterflies have ventured out to flutter with new couples.

But I wouldn't trade this loving touch for anything. With it, comes security and the knowledge that I am safe with him. I have his love, and his happiness, and the fact that we're apart of each other now. And sometimes, for a split second, I can still catch a glimpse of those butterflies coming back to visit with me. :)

Every mother's worst nightmare!

I've heard of playing with your food, but this is taking it a bit beyond. Although if a child could create such interesting things with their food, I don't think mothers would have such a problem with cleaning up the mess. Lol.

A friend sent these to me in an email today and I thought they were cool enough to share. It's amazing what a little creativity can "produce".

Just got back...

from my lunchbreak with Bridget. It was fucking awesome! (I don't get out much!) She invited her friend Michelle along, which was a pleasant surprise. I really like Michelle, and it was great seeing Bridget again. I missed her when she lived in Vegas, and now that she's back in Barstow, I plan to take full advantage of it.

Did you read that Bridget??? I plan on taking advantage of you. Hahahaha. Anyways, it was great catching up with you and Michelle! Michelle and I even stood around outside after you left, talking, for about 30 minutes. See, you should have called in with a mysterious stomach bug...then maybe we could have went to the movies. :) Maybe next week. :D

Oh yeah...I was right! A few weeks ago, I posted about my uncle who may or may not be upset with me because years ago, I wouldn't help him clean the Harvey House. Bridget just confirmed what I've always heard...it is indeed haunted. Thanks Bridg...you make me feel justified. :P I forgot to ask, did you see the swinging lamps too???

A quote from Blogger...

And PROOF that "I'M" in charge of my own blog, and the things that go in it!

"At Blogger, we strongly believe that you own and should control your posts and other data."

I rest my case!

Not my morning!

Just came back in from feeding the horses. Of course, this involves more than just feeding...feeding grain, cleaning poop, rubbing cream on Gideon, putting on fly masks, fly spraying the horses, giving them fresh water (which today I had to do all alone - the tub is a 100 gallon tub, and it was still half full. I scraped my legs all up trying to tip it over, not to mention, my doctor would be having an aneurism right about now), feeding the stray cats, and then feeding hay.

Not only did I scrape my upper legs on the water tub, but I put my hand into three different spider webs (I hate, hate, HATE spiders!!!!) and I got bit by a big red ant. I'm allergic to big red ants! The bastard got inbetween my sandel strap and my foot, and bit me. So now, my foot is all swollen and it burns like hell. I couldn't wait to get back up to the house...and safety! Lol.

I'm almost scared to go down town. I'm meeting Bridget for lunch, so hopefully, I have a safe drive! :-{

Tommie, this one's for you!!!

Girl...since you were rude enough to make fun of the birthday cake I made for Mark (her comment to me was "It looks like the chocolate threw up on itself"), I thought you'd enjoy the cakes on this site! See...it could have been worse!!! (sticking my tongue out at you!)

I personally think some of these are hilarious!

www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com

Wow, that's embarrassing!

My mom, brother, Mark and I all went to Victorville on Sunday. It was just one of those days where we all wanted to get out of the house, and truthfully, Marcus and I had been wanting to go to the Barnes and Nobles bookstore. So we all went out to lunch, and had a really nice meal. Then we went to the bookstore.

Mark and I ventured off on our own, looking around to see what caught our attention. Before we knew it, we had walked into the "Sex" isle. A little curious, we found a Kama Sutra book and started flipping through it. I glance up and my mom and brother are walking right towards us. Of course they ask what we had found, and I just grinned. My mom looks around and notices the covers on the other books nearby and says "Nevermind". She turns around and walks off. My brother starts laughing, and we all leave the isle. We tried finding my mom, and joked that she must have been so embarrassed, she had started back to Barstow. Lol.

Be careful what you look at, because there are always eyes amongst you. Haha.

Watch out! Guard cat on the loose!!!

My mom's dog would not stop barking this morning and when my mom looked outside to see why, she saw that she had two puppies in her yard...a pit bull and a chow. She opened the screen door to yell at them, and the chow started barking at her. As the screen door was open, my brother's cat Wicket ran outside and right towards the dogs growling. My mom yelled at him to stop and he slouched down, so that she could pick him up and bring him back inside.

It's really no surprise that Wicket acted this way, he always comes to my mom's aid. If any of us is messing with my mom and she screams, he comes running with eyes huge, to see whats happening to her. It's too funny! But no one expected him to charge dogs. Brave little guy. :)

This might work!

I have found my new favorite snack. Strawberries...can you believe it??? Ok, actually I don't care much for strawberries at all, I've always been more of a "veggie person" than a "fruit person". But for real, I bought this strawberry glaze that's made for strawberries, and I LOVE it. I can't wait to go out and buy more glaze and strawberries. I may be able to live off of this stuff, and it's good for you. Well maybe not, the sugar content is outragious, but who cares? It's yummy and fruit! Yippee!

Warning!

Last night I saw...

that new Pamela Anderson reality show. I just have to say, I've always thought she was beautiful, and I love her personality. She's the girl next door, yet she can be "catty" when she wants to be. That got me to thinking though...I don't know how she was/is with Tommy Lee. Tommy Lee is an asshole, and I know this first hand!

In November of 2006, I went to a concert for Juke Kartel. I had already met the guys and they are all so sweet. Toby, the singer of JK, was the third runner up on that show "Rock Star", where Supernova (Tommy Lee's new band) picked a new front man. Anyways, Toby didn't win, but him and his band won a lot of fame. Mark and I had seen the band perform at the Viper room (Johnny Depp's old night club) in September, and hung out with a couple of the band mates. When we found out they were performing two months later at the Troubador, we couldn't miss it. My brother who was a minor at the time, also went with us.

We got balcony seats, and Tommy Lee and Lucas Rossi (his new front man) ended up sitting in the balcony beside us. My brother being a huge Lucas fan, went over to say hi. When Tommy saw my brother, he got all bent out of shape, whispered something to his bodyguard, and turned his back. My brother went up and called Lucas' name, but the bodyguard came up and started harrassing my brother. Mind you, my brother was a good 15 feet from these people. He pulled out his phone to take a picture of Lucas from afar, and the bodyguard reached out and shoved my brother hard.

To say the least, we lost ALL of our respect for Tommy. If it wasn't for the fans, he wouldn't be ANYTHING! And plus, my brother didn't care a rat's ass about Tommy, he was trying to say hi to Lucas. My mother was NOT happy when she heard what happened. She called the nightclub and told them that they shouldn't allow minors into their shows if they were going to allow their famous people to push them around. Can you say "lawsuit"? It turns out that the bodyguard who pushed my brother, was an employee of the Troubador, and the manager assured my mom that the bodyguard would never be allowed to do it again. Oops.

Should have written this a long time ago...for those who read my blog!

I began reading someone else's blog a while back. Although I don't agree with everything she writes, I do respect her opinions and her right to express herself, and I found that I enthusiastically checked her blog daily to see what new things she had to say. It wasn't until months (a year?) later, that I decided that I needed a blog of my own, and so dawned "Sara's World".

I have always been a writer, and enjoyed using words to shape my opinions, ideas and stories. I express myself through my writing better than I ever could by speaking. Some people are vocal, others create, sketch, or perform...I write. And because I am a writer, I've always been cursed with hands that move faster than my eyes. I have been known many times to write something in the heat of passion and to give it to someone without a second thought. What they received was a hurtful, unedited, spur of the moment angry letter. I could never understand why people got hurt or upset, because as I said, I was only sharing with them how I felt. It wasn't until years later, that I finally realized you can't understand someone's "feelings" in words. If I attempted to explain why something had hurt me, it often came across as an angry accusation because people had a hard time reading the "tone".

It has taken A LOT of work for me to stop, re-read, edit and understand how the things I write may be conceived by other people. I have also learned not to write things to people, that I wouldn't feel comfortable saying to their face. Having my blog has actually given me an outlet to share my frustrations, ideas, experiences, joys, and sorrows, without having to restrict myself. Truthfully having it has not only been my therapy when dealing with bad things, but it also makes me appreciative of the good things in my life. It's my diary!

So basically, that leads me to the point of today's post. I have done a lot of writing, and I frequent "several" forums where writing is the only means of communicating with others. One of the most important things I can share is...we all have different opinions and ways of sharing them. Some people are better writers than others, some are more blunt or rude, others use sweet words to get their point across. But usually people only get offended when they see some truth to what someone is saying...otherwise, it's just someone's opinion for them to take or leave. I personally try my best not to hurt others, but at times, I get heated and I say what I feel, as I feel it. Like I said, this is "my world", and people have a right not to share in it. I don't feel like I should have to censor myself here.

Guys, I don't tell you to edit your thoughts, feelings or speech, so please stop coming to me about my blog. I'm entitled to my opinion and way of expression, same as anyone else. Just because I say it, it doesn't make it true. And look at it this way...if you didn't do it or say it, I probably wouldn't be writing about it!

A Cake story

I was really excited about making Mark's birthday cake...so excited, that I failed to read the instructions all the way through. I was trying to follow a recipe, but make some changes (i.e. change cherries for strawberries, and cheesecake frosting instead of homemade whipped frosting) at the same time. I knew that it involved making two different cakes, so we bought two different cakes. This is more or less what I was striving for...

HAHAHAHAHA...everything was going great, I made the cake batters and started pouring them into my 9 inch cake pans. I began to notice around this time, that something wasn't quite right, as the batter filled clear up to the rim of the pan. I figured that the cakes must not rise much. I mean, I've made cakes before in retangular pans and never had a problem, and I had read the instructions and saw that you could use 9" cake pans.

So into the oven the cakes go. I start smelling the cakes right away, and take a peek inside. I think I shut the oven door quicker than I opened it, trying to close away the horror that I saw. The cake pans were overflowing and spilling to the bottom of the stove. I couldn't figure it out and then I realized that I must have used "pie pans" and not "cake pans". Of course! That makes sense. The burning smell started roaming throughout the house, and knowing that there would soon be a fire following, I had my mom help me scrape the collected cake from the bottom of the stove. I have never seen something smoke so much! It's a good thing that I didn't go off and leave the cakes cooking, or I would have come home to an ignited stove. I was soooo sad, my perfect cake was now a disater. How could I salvage such a monstrosity?

I went back to reading the box instructions, to figure out what I had missed. AHA!!! Turns out that ONE box of cake mix, makes TWO 9 inch cakes. I used TWO boxes for TWO cake pans. No wonder why they were filled so high. What should have taken 30 minutes to bake, took nearly an hour, and I was sweating it thinking that the cake themselves would burn in that time.

The time came to take the cakes out of the oven. Thankfully, they weren't as bad off as I feared. I dumped the cakes out onto another plate, and trimmed the bad stuff off of them. Then I spent a couple of hours preparing the strawberry sauces, and the creamcheese frosting, and finally putting the cake together. This was my final result....

I was really scared because the layers kept wanting to slide off because of the strawberry sauce. A toppling cake wouldn't have been cool. Lol. But it withstood all the weight (a HEAVY cake) and both Mark and I agreed that it was one of the best tasting cakes we've ever had. My brother doesn't like sweets like cakes, cookies, etc, and he ate a big ol peice of it. :) I have a newfound respect for bakers who make their cakes look so beautiful. It is not an easy thing to do!!!!