Awe, that's better. You know, I've been really crabby lately. I think that the surgery and everything else that has been happening, has really strung me out. I feel tired non-stop, and like I don't want to do anything around the house. I know alot of that has to do with the cyst, and my hormones gone awry, but then, everything else has just added to the lack of interest to do anything. I have been snapping at Mark and I feel really truly bad about it, I just can't help myself from doing it. It's little things that are adding up and setting me off. And things (not just my body) are working against me. For example, I asked Mark a week or two ago, not to allow Binx in our bedroom. He's a strange cat, and I swear he's belimic. He gorges himself, throws up then eats again and is fine. He has never really been allowed in our bedroom unless we're in there too because we have dream catchers everywhere and I don't want him going after the feathers on them. But all of a sudden my husband has decided that it's fine to let him in there unsupervised. It's all good for him because he isn't the one who has to pick up vomit everywhere. So anyways, I asked him not to let him in there unsupervised a couple of weeks ago, and he just doesn't seem to remember. Saterday, I walk in the house (Mark's next door at my mom's), and Binx is in our room. I pick him up in a baby hold (he's so spoiled) and I'm carrying him out of the room and attempting to shut the door. Binx was swinging his tail and it got caught in the door as I shut it. He screamed, as he ripped into my cheek and shoulder with his claws. I dropped him because I didn't know what had happened until I saw the black fur clinging to the door, and instantly felt the blood on my face. Yep, I got clawed pretty good. I started yelling at Mark because "it was his fault" that I caught Binx's tail in the door.
Then, I always cut Mark's hair. I've pretty muchly done it since we've been together. Most people wear a shirt to help catch the hair as it falls. Nope, not Mark. So the hair falls on his chest and shoulders. He has a bad habit of getting straight into the shower after I finish, and he doesn't brush off the eccess hair. It's usually not a problem because he puts drano in afterwards. Well he asked me if I planned on taking a shower after him, and since I said no, he said he'd put the drano in. The day after, I get in to take a shower and low and behold, the drain is backing up on me. Yep, I went off on that too. Then, yesterday, he ended up pushing Binx away from something, and the way Binx was pushed, he scratched the top of my foot pretty badly. Such small stupid things to get upset over, but I can't seem to stop myself. And don't get me started on my mom. I've been around her since Thursday, and while I love her dearly, she is NOT the easiest person to be around. She seems like such a sweet person, and I always hated how my friends would tell me how "lucky" I was to have her for a mom just because she seems so nice. That is until they got to know her and see how she really is. She's just so negative. She's one of those people who plays dumb, so that everyone will feel sorry for her. But man, does she like drama.
I used to like drama, lets face it, I'm a girl and I didn't fall far from the tree. But after I met Mark and I realized that I actually liked myself and life, I decided that I wanted to be a good hearted person, and do good things for other people. My mom has a good heart, really she does. But she likes to cause problems, and dwell on little things, and bad mouth everyone. When you hang around with negative people, it begins to rub off on you. I get that now! And boy do I regret all the negative energy I used to unleash on those around me in the past. (Ok, ok, so my posts lately haven't been so positive, I hope that changes soon!) My mom seldom has cheerful things come out of her mouth, and having 5 days to be around that...no wonder why I'm acting out on Mark. I actually snapped at her yesterday by mistake and I made her cry. I feel bad, but someone can only take soooo much. I have a lot on my plate right now, and yesterday I truly felt horribly sick. My grandma tried calling me, and I couldn't stop coughing, so I really didn't feel like calling her back right then. My mom came over and gave me the third degree on how I need to call her back. Hello...I'm 27 years old. I'm my own person and I don't have to be told to do something anymore. I ended up telling her that I'll do it later when I feel a little better. That wasn't good enough for her and she started going off on me. I got mad right back, and she started tearing up. Of course I felt bad, and I made sure that we made up quickly. But geeze. Then today, we made the mistake of taking her with us when we went down to the hospital. She complained alllllllllllll the way there and home. I just need a break. I love her, really I do. It's just not a really good time in my life for all this drama. Now that I think about it, we're supposed to pick up Kip's ashes right around the time that my surgery has been reschedualed for. Yay.
Someone wanna rub some of their good luck off on me???
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